In a relationship, we often feel a surge of emotions for the other person. Sometimes the emotions may or may not match based on the situations that we are in. Just because the emotions felt at the same time are contradictory does not mean that they are not valid. “As a human being, you will have multiple experiences and emotions about one situation. It’s important to be aware and accepting of these nuances, especially when it comes to relationships,” wrote Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi. She further noted down a few emotions that can co-exist in a relationship, and all of them are valid.
Empathy and accountability: We can express empathy for the partner and the situation they are in, but at the same time, we can also hold them accountable for their mistakes or actions that have hurt us. It is allowed for two of these emotions to be felt at the same time.
Validation of experiences and emotional healing: Some of us are brought up in homes where we did not receive the love and affection that we deserved as a child. Hence, we carried those traumatic experiences into adult relationships later in life. However, validating those experiences is as important as undergoing emotional healing and taking the initiative of healing ourselves.
Understanding and communicating: We can understand their actions and their situations, but we should not deny our emotions by not communicating to them how their actions impacted or affected us.
Affirmations and setting boundaries: While it is important that we give affirmations to the other person in their difficult times, we should not break our boundaries to accommodate them. Our boundaries should be respected by us and also by others at all times.
Acknowledge and wish: While we can acknowledge the lack of resources at one point of time, and still wish we had a different experience. This holds true for our upbringing, our relationship with parents, as well as our partner in a romantic relationship.